“Whoof whoofs,” I says “Bungler Dessies and Afgans.”
“Right,” he says, “Yes I see, you see,” he said, “We cannot afford it Mr Althwaite.”
“No,” I said, “When a twenty quid ass hook gets the job done once and for all.”
“Exactly!” he says
“Can I leave it in your capable hands?” he said. XXX “Well, I need some expenses,” I said, “And an alibi?”
“No need to worry about that Allthwaite, ammendment to the criminal justice bill comes up on Thursday.”
“Right,” I says, “I’ll wait until Thursday.”
“No, look ideally we would like you to sit in on the Central Lancashire Criminal court and identify the perpetrators,” he says like he thought I was going to do what he said, “Then when they are found inexplicably ‘Not Guilty,’ you will know who they are and indeed their home addresses.
